Friday, February 25, 2011


I am drawn so much closer to God when things aren't going my way. I'm quick to give praise and recognize that it's Him when good things happen, but then I carry on with life and  put Him on the back burner. This week I have prayed desperately. The kind of prayer where you realize that really, something's not going to happen unless God steps in and makes it happen. I don't talk much about my faith here because I'm honestly not proud of it. I am a believer. I have a relationship with God, but it should be so much more. I'm afraid of what it means to get back there. The embarrassing truth: I've read my Bible and devotionals more these past four days than I have in...if I'm honest, years. Literally, years. This morning I read a familiar passage, Mathew 6:26-33, especially being touched by this part.

 '...You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink" or "What will we wear for clothing?" For...your heavenly Father knows that you need these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.'

We obviously have food to eat and clothes to wear, it's just that God is teaching me whatever it is that we need, He will take care of us. It sounds too simple, but He already knows what I need. And in His timing He gives. Meanwhile, He uses that time to draw me to Himself. Minutes after I read that passage I got a call from Mike with a specific answer to our prayer. I waited four days and God answered me. After He waited years for me to answer Him.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Colds and Silly Boy Max

We've had colds around here. No fun. I've had a sore throat that won't go away, but it's not a big deal. The bummer is sick kids. Maxwell is almost over his, but Ella's hot and whinny (literally). It is easier now that they can communicate. They can tell me if they want water or milk, where it hurts, and what they need. Their second birthday is next week so I'm hoping they're getting all the sickies out of the way so we can celebrate on their special day.

This week Maxwell has been especially mischievous. He is driving me crazy, but then looks up at me with that smile and says, 'Awe Mommy,' and it's so hard to stay frustrated. Take yesterday, Ella was running a fever and very clingy. I set her up with Toy Story (that's a whole separate post, they are OBSESSED. It's getting ridiculous). Anyway, I had her situated and I was going around the house picking up and in a matter of five minutes Maxwell managed to get the top off of his cup and dump milk over Ella's head (mind you, we had just finished baths and they were cozy in clean clothes). I put her back in the bath to wash the milk out of her hair and during that time he rediscovered the water spout on the front of the fridge and pressed it so the kitchen was flooded (that counts as me mopping, right?). Later that afternoon he kept saying 'Buzz, poo poo.' I just nodded and honestly kind of ignored him. He finally took my hand to show me the diaper champ. I opened it and found Toy Story toys mixed in with poopy diapers. Joy.

None of that is really a big deal. It's just kind of a pain. But what do you do? Anyway, we're praying for a healthy family around here! In the meantime, as I'm thinking about my babies turning two, I pulled up pictures from last February. I wish I could borrow these babies for a day.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

To Dad

Just a note to say happy birthday. And thank you. I know that no matter what, I am 100%, unconditionally loved by you. There has never been a time that I've doubted that you're there for me. Thank you for that. I love watching you with Maxwell and Ella. I know that they will grow up feeling that same love.
Happy birthday old man. We love you.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Getting Out

We're back on rainy day schedule. The kids get as stir crazy as I do being in the house all day so we try to think of creative ideas to get us out. My grandma, whom I call Blano (it's just what I've always called her), got us a pass to the children's museum for Christmas. We go often and they love it.

They love this train. They press a button that says 'All Aboard!' and it cracks them up. Side note, when did Maxwell's hair turn into a curly mullet? Just as we're getting Ella's under control...maybe it's time for a real haircut. That way I can blame it on someone else if it looks funny.
The little reading nook. Aka, the area that I always bump my head on, really hard. Then I look up and see the other Moms turn away awkwardly and I just want them to look at me so we can laugh so it's not as embarrassing when my forehead is bright red.

More train time. (Again with the curls!)

I asked them to please withdraw money for me and they nodded very seriously, 'Yes Mama.'

Magnet wall. Maxwell is really into letters. He only knows a few but he jumps up and down when he sees an 'M,' 'E' or a 'B.' We always say 'B is for Beck,' which has actually not worked out because now he calls the letter 'B' Beck, instead of 'B.' Oh well. He kind of gets it.

Kitchen play. Ella put everything in her mouth. I felt bad because she was so confused when I kept telling her it was play food and she couldn't eat it.

They LOVE this cash register. I hate it. It makes this really annoying beeping sound over and over and over.

The museum is featuring a really cool space exhibit. Their favorite part? The phones in the control panel on the rocket. Ella was chatting away with my Mom on the phone.

Monday, February 14, 2011

For My Valentine

For my Valentine. I love you Mike~

In My Life, By The Beatles

 There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All this places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more
In my life-- I love you more

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Love, Maxwell and Ella

If you read this blog, you must interested in my kids, because that's pretty much what I write about. So thanks for taking the time to visit. Happy Valentines~ Love, Maxwell and Ella.

Soak Up The Sun

We went to the beach yesterday afternoon. The weather was nice but I didn't think it would be warm enough for swim suits...I was wrong. These babies LOVE the beach! Mike surfed and we played in the sand and water. Ella can't get enough of the ocean.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Please Take Time To Read

This is the third year that my stepson Michael has done this amazing ride.This year is particularly special because it is the 10th anniversary of Aids/LifeCycle and Michael has committed to raise $10,000! Please check out his rider homepage and share your support for this great cause!  

We love you Michael. We're proud of this amazing commitment you've made!

(borrowed from Michael's site...)
 Dear Friends and Family,
I can't explain to you the feeling of having riden 545 miles and crossing that finish line into LA knowing that you have made a difference in thousands of peoples lives. In some cases even saving people's lives. From beginning to end this ride is a journey of lifetime.
I'm so excited to be participating in the 10th Anniversary of AIDS/LIFECYCLE!! This will be my 3rd time doing the ride and I know every year it just gets better and better. Because it is the 10th Anniversary I have commited to be a part of a very special club of riders; the 10 for 10 Club!! That means that I have committed to raising $10,000.00!!!
It is with your help that I can reach this goal. I know that so may of you are personally affected by HIV/AIDS in one way or another and together we will win the fight. Your donation is going to ensure that thousands of people will continue to have access to their HIV/AIDS meds and more research will be done in the fight against HIV/AIDS.
I'm asking you to really dig deep this year and give beyond what you can to help us have the biggest year the ride has ever seen. Your donation is tax deductable.
Please, please, please donate today!!

Much love,
Michael Beck
Participant #1657

Friday, February 4, 2011

Work and Cookies

Mike only has to work for a few hours this morning so he took Maxwell with him. Big boy put on his tractor shirt from Lily and gathered his tools. The boys hit the road and Ella and I are eating cookies. I think we've got the good end of this deal. As soon as I'm dressed we're heading to Staples AGAIN to finally have our computer fixed. I've been using Mike's laptop and I miss having all my photos in their folders. My media card reader isn't working and this morning the computer wouldn't even boot. Dear computer, please be fixable!

Ella keeps looking at the window and saying, "Bye Max! Max work." Ah, they're growing up. Happy 23 months Maxwell and Ella.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Highway On Our Driveway

Beware, crazy drivers at play

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


It's 11:55 and I'm sitting down at the computer with my lunch. We ran errands this morning and I just put the kids down for a nap (hopefully). I signed into blogger and I'm skimming my daily reads while eating my tuna sandwich. I scroll down our blog and look for any new comments (is that embarrassing to say?). I notice my last few posts and smile. I've got it made! I get get to stay home with my kids and play, and for this I'm grateful. But what I'm really smiling about is what I didn't write, and how different real life sometimes looks. I didn't write about the red crayon that went through both the washer and dryer last week. I didn't write about the way that I may have said a naughty word when I had just finished mopping and Maxwell left a trail of yogurt from the couch cushion all the way down the hall (clearly my fault, because I was being lazy and didn't force him to sit in his high chair). I didn't write that it's common for me to give Ella three baths a day because she puts her hands down her poopy pants. This means completely stripping the crib and washing everything from bumpers to sheets to stuffed animals and favorite 'blankies' (which she screams for while they are in the wash). I didn't write about how hard it was at the beach to keep both kids safe while one ran down the sand and the other wanted to chase waves. I didn't write that although my kids love each other, they fight too. And it's exhausting. Sometimes they even bite each other. (NOTE: Ella is currently yelling at me from her crib. She is alternating between 'cookie please' and 'poop.' Do I check on her or risk leaving her in there with the chance that maybe she did poop and she's smearing it all over? Hold on. Let me go check. Ok, I'm back. No poop. Perfect, now I just taught her that if she yells for me I'll come in. But I'm not getting her up yet.). What was I saying? Oh, it's just funny how our blogs can make it look so easy. But what's the alternative? Bitching about everything? How would that be productive, and really, who would want to read that? Anyway, things just aren't always as 'fun' as they may look. Although I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Now please excuse me while I go try to fish out the shovel that Maxwell put in the front grill of my truck. Ella is still calling for me and I just want her to fall asleep. I cherish the days that they both nap at the same time. Just having an hour of quiet time to myself makes such a difference. OK, enough rambling.
Have a good day :)