And then my stomach started turning. And I wanted to throw up. If I somehow was selected for the position...who would watch my babies? I would be commuting two hours a day. I would literally be gone from 6-6. The whole day. Away from them. My heart started racing and I put my head down. Please, no. You called my bluff, I don't want this Lord. I prayed my heart would soften to what's right for our family. Thinking about the stress of finances. Thinking about how that stress puts a strain on our marriage. Thinking about medical insurance. Thinking about Mike working weekends. Trying to be brave. And then my phone rang. I told Mike about the job opening. And he reminded me of our plan. That I will go back to work, but right now having me with the kids is what's best for our family. Thank you Lord, my heart whispered. Thank you Mike.
So for every post I've written about how staying at home with twins (or one, or five) is hard...I'll take the hard. I don't regret voicing my
If somewhere down the road I find something part time, we may re evaluate our situation. But for now, I am thankful for these few precious years I am spending with Maxwell and Ella. I'm thankful I get to be there for each little thing, and have the time to blog about it.