Dear Other Moms,
I usually feel like a good Mom. I don't know all the answers but I feel patient and calm. This morning I feel like I need Super Nanny to come kick my butt.
Sleeping: At least one of the kids wakes up in the middle of the night multiple times a week (although they finally have been taking nice naps at the same time during the day). Sometimes they'll go a whole week sleeping through the night, but often they don't. I don't even want to get into why they're waking up, I just know that it's probably because I created some pattern and it's my fault. Last night was rare and extreme, but they were up from 1:45-3:45. Mike had to be up at 5 for work. I feel like most of my friends' kids have slept through the night since some insane age like eight weeks. Seriously. (Hill, Moll, Crystal...you lucky bastards).
Eating: Maxwell does not want to eat. Anything. And Ella throws full blown tantrums when I make her sit in her high chair to eat. Out of her chair, she will eat almost anything. This became so frustrating for me that about a month ago I started letting them eat on their little table in the front room. I've created an awful habit. I find myself following them around with food, or even worse...sometimes I turn the TV on and let them eat in front of it. I know. Sickening. And now I decided that's no way to eat so I'm trying to enforce high chairs, which is creating back arching tantrums and food thrown everywhere. I don't know what to do. Letting them out of their chairs took the fight out of it, temporary relief for me, but I don't want kids who eat all over the house. But I also don't want to create crazy food issues by forcing them to eat. Mike gets home late so we don't sit down as a family yet. Although we did try over the weekend and he and I both tried not to poke our eyes out with forks as Ella flailed and screamed. When I finally took her down, she stormed to her room. She slammed the door, turned her mini radio on to twinkle twinkle, and turned the volume all the way up. 21 months old, dear lord.
Looking back at at my early concerns (nursing routines, whether or not to make baby food, frequency/consistency of poop- really did seem to matter at one point), all these things just worked themselves out. I know these are just phases, but I feel like I'm creating bad habits for my kids and I don't like feeling like a bad mom. Hello mommy guilt.
Sleepless in Atascadero,