My heart is for Maxwell and Ella...
To hear a calm voice, even when I'm frustrated or angry.
To see more of my smile instead of my frown.
To find security in our routines, so they know what to expect no matter what mood I'm in.
To feel safe and giddy when I run to give their Daddy a kiss when he gets home from work.
When they think about our days,
I want them to think about dance parties in the kitchen.
More of me playing with them.
Laughter on car rides.
Counting, spelling, imagining.
I want to model treating people with kindness.
With my words and actions.
I want to be quick to forgive and quick to ask for forgiveness, including asking for theirs when I'm wrong.
I want them to see honest.
I want them to dream big.
I want to nurture their strengths and give them the gift of confidence.
I want them to feel heard.
Even if I don't agree with them, I want their voices to feel important, because they are.
Most of all, I want them to understand that I treasure the privilege of being their Mom. I know they won't remember all that we did these first years of their lives, but I want them to feel the foundation of love that we've built together.
I'll always fall short but I refuse to lower my mark. For today, it's starting simple. With an intentional choice of how I control my voice. To speak, not yell. To chose calm over chaos.