This Week, Two Years Ago

Two years ago the week of July 7th changed my life. It was this week that I found out our egg harvest was successful and I got the phone call that six embryos survived! It is extremely emotional to really  think about what we went through during that summer. The week of July 7th we found out that the embryos had survived, but then we had to hope for a successful embryo transfer. Each day felt soooo long as we waited for the phone call. I can't find the words to explain the...anticipation, anxiety, hope, fear of disappointment. But then the final phone call came. I was pregnant. 'Really pregnant,' the nurse told me, indicating that my hormone levels were high and it was probably two babies. Each week after that I was afraid to believe. Afraid this amazing gift really was too good to be true. Until the weeks turned into months. And my belly swelled so big there was no denying it. And I could feel them move! I would be meeting with a student at school and I'd feel my belly flip flop and it was like a special secret between the babies and I.
Even though our experience was painful, IVF usually doesn't go as smooth as it did for us. I am so grateful for our miracle. We only had to undergo one IVF cycle and we were blessed with Maxwell and Ella. Today I look back two years ago and repeat my gratitude, thank you Lord for these beautiful children.

Another step closer...

"These are the best embryos I've seen in months," Dr. S. tells us. This is the first thing we hear Friday morning as we get to the office for our embryo transfer. He says our embryos are wonderful! He shows us a picture of them and explains today's process. I can't believe this is real. I change into a gown and we wait for the embryologist to come into the operating room. It's a sterile, quiet room and I'm laying on the table. Mike sits on a chair next to me and we look at each other, is this really finally happening? The embryologist comes in and goes over some information with us. "Your embryos are perfect," she says. My eyes fill with tears. She explains that they are measured A, B, or C for their quality. For example, each embryo is scored AA, AB, BB, BC, CC, etc. She shows us our ratings. Out of the six embryos, 5 of them are AA and one is AB. They really are perfect. Next, she dims the lights and rolls in an incubator. My heart is overwhelmed. Those are our babies in there. The incubator is temperature controlled and she calls Mike over to meet them. He can see them under the microscope, but otherwise he tells me they look like specs of dust. It is absolutely incredible. I am comforted that our embryos are healthy. I am grateful that if we have to do this again, we can use any of the four other embryos that they have frozen.I lie on the operating table and Dr. S. comes in shortly after. I watch the clock and the whole procedure takes around 12 minutes. It is uncomfortable, but not painful. The embryos are kept in the quiet, dark incubator until the very last minute before they are transferred through a catheter. And that's it. I look at Mike and we both know this may be the beginning, but also the end. The end of these appointments, tests, needles...disappointment. But again, it may not be. In 10 days I take a blood test to find out if I'm pregnant. In the meantime I am hopeful, but I have guarded my heart. It has been such a long process and I'm afraid to get my hopes up.

These are the actual two embryos they transfered, hopefully their first picture of many!
Thank you Lord for bringing us this far.