Thursday, February 25, 2010

Loving Them Love Each Other

It has been over a month since we've all been sick. We just keep passing it back and forth. Once I think we are well, someone starts feeling bad again. Last weekend Ella started running a fever, this week she got up to 106 degrees. Poor baby has an ear infection but she's on the mend, dreaming of smiles and motorcyle rides. Maxwell has been amazing, patiently sharing my attention and playing on his own. He is such a good natured boy.

We ran to Target today and when I stopped the car and turned around in my seat, this is what I saw. Sister not feeling great and brother holding her hand.
Totally teared up and remembered that having twins is the best thing ever. It's been hard this month taking care of sick babies. Dividing my attention and feeling a wee bit overwhelmed with arms constantly clinging to me isn't the glamourous picture I usually post. But it's real life. Having two babies isn't just 'cute.' It's also double the diapers, food on the floor, crying, etc. But when I see the two of them together, loving each other, it really is as great as I make it sound. Actually, better. I love them loving each other.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Wild Things

Maxwell and Ella got these awesome motorcycles from Nana and Papa for Christmas. With a little help, Max has been able to ride around the driveway. Ella took a dive off hers so she hasn't been too keen on it. Until I got out of the shower this morning and found Mike and the kids doing this...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mommy Guilt

I had heard about mommy guilt before I had kids, but I didn't get it. It literally starts at conception. At first its' Oh no I haven't gained enough weight!' Then it's 'Oh shit I've gained too much weight!' Always questioning, always harboring this...great responsibility. I think the babies are too cold, I need to bundle them up at night. Wait! Their room is baking, they are too hot. I need to be careful about introducing new foods to them. But that Mom over there is feeding her baby Chinese takeout and he looks so happy! Ohmygosh I am depriving mine! Every phase it's something.

I have girlfriends who decided for various reasons to stop breastfeeding earlier than they planned on. Talk about the mother load of mommy guilt. So many emotions and circumstances are attached to this personal decision. And yet everyone thinks it's their business to ask about it. I remember dreading nursing at the beginning. With two babies I literally felt like my boobs were out all the time as I was feeding all day and all night long. I didn't like it. And that made me feel guilty. I kept telling myself 'One more week. I'll see if i can do it for one more week.' Weeks turned into months and I finally mastered feeding two at once. For me, nursing became quick and easy. So easy in fact, that at eleven months I still nurse the babies in the morning and at night. And guess what? I feel guilty about that! Now I'm embarrassed to admit that my babies who look so big still nurse. Why do we do this to ourselves as Moms?

I guess it's caring too much about what others think. As far as questioning myself about whether or not I'm doing it perfectly, I've just resolved to accept that I'm not. I guess that's part of parenting. Sure I'm bound to feel bad when I get something wrong, but I know that my heart is right. And the thing about kids...they'll be just fine.



(Ella finally has enough hair for a bow to dangle from. Until she or her brother pulls it out.)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Feeling Yucky...And Still Into Everything

Whatever sickness I had finally passed on to Maxwell and Ella. They have colds and their little lungs are wheezy. But as you can see, it has not slowed them down much. I think we are all just tired of being housebound.

Trying to start the DVD player
Pulling down all the clothes in their closet. I don't know how I didn't see that coming.

Peekaboo!

Maxwell telling Ella all about cows



Bath time! I could tell they were feeling yucky this morning so I finally gave in and let them take a bath together. I don't usually like to do this because they get crazy and usually go face down. For me, it's kind of scary with two in the water. BUT I think they get it now. They almost had as much fun waiting for the water to fill up as they did during their actual bath time.

They are too much fun.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

11 Months


You peekaboo playing, motorcycle riding, play chase with me babies...how we love you. One more month, say it ain't so.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hi From the Crib

Remember the days when your Mom told you that you had to stay in bed and sleep if you stayed home from school? If I only would have realized how amazing that sleep really was...
I haven't been feeling great but so far the babies seem to be OK :)




Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I Delcare Bull

So I was in the grocery store tonight. I was super tired and looked up and saw a hot chick in a bikini. I thought to myself, 'Hmmm, she looks nice. Super cute suit. Killer tummy. Wait. WHAT?' Yeah. OCTOMOM is apparently gorgeous and rocking a bikini bod- get this, with no surgery. YEAH RIGHT.

This is featured on the cover of STAR magazine. This is what she looked like while pregnant. And you're telling me she looks like this one year after giving birth to EIGHT CHILDREN?! I don't mean to rewrite this post but there's no way. Maybe I'm just bitter. Maybe I'm jealous my tummy doesn't boast a taut lil' button. But seeing that mag cover clearly urked something in me. And that something is...just be honest. Rock that killer body and give praises to the medicine that helped you. I know I shouldn't care. Maybe it's my new photoshop class that's giving me license to claim bull...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Rainy Day Schedule

Eat. Dance. Play.

Back to School

I'm going back to school! I am taking intro to photoshop at our community college with little Maegann. Last night was our first class. We'll meet once a week until May and I am so excited! We even get homework! (Yes, Maegann rolled her eyes at me when she saw I was excited about the homework bit). I have been wanting to learn how to more on the computer, especially with photos. The babies get Monday nights with their Dad and I get to be with Meg. Can't wait to show you what I learn :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Photo Upload Fix

My problem 'exceeded photo upload' was a result of too many images on Picasa/Picasa Web Albums. I have 168 posts and have been blogging since June of 2008. I love using Picasa because my photo files are super organized and I like the quick edits Picasa allows. During that time I've used 1 GB of google storage. So...I purchased the cheapest option google offered for more space. $5 bucks for 20 GB! To be honest, I would have paid more than that. I've said before, I'm using this blog as my baby book (and publishing it through blurb). I also just enjoy blogging.

So I can now do 20 times the amount that I've already done. For $5.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Waiting for Lily

My good friend Crystal is due to have her baby girl Lily any day now. And I can't stand it. Which means Crystal must REALLY be ready. Like most mothers, I can't help but become introspective when I hear about other women's birth stories. It seems like it was just yesterday...

I was admitted in the hospital for eight days at week 34 to keep the babies from coming early. I was put on magnesium sulfate and it felt worse than any flu I've ever had- but obviously a small sacrifice to keep the babies healthy and growing.

I remember their birth in following highlights:

*I was terrified of going back into the hospital and having them send me home because it 'wasn't time.' So I kept praying that after 36 weeks my water would break so I would really know. It broke. Seriously broke. Mike was putting on his shoes to leave for work and I just started laughing because fortheloveofgod the fluids would not stop coming! It was like a hose was gushing out of my, you know, and I just kept laughing.
*During the early hours of labor I have to admit, I secretly thought I was amazing. Like, yes the contractions kind of hurt but I was going to be tough. I didn't know what all these women were whining about. This bravado lasted a few more hours and then I insisted on casually agreed to an epidural.
*My water broke around 7 a.m. and sometime later that morning/early afternoon they started the Pitocin. It seemed like it was taking forever and it wasn't until around 9 p.m. that I was finally dilated to 9. We got super excited and prepared to go into the operating room. With twins, they have double the people in the room (doctor, nurses, pediatrician, surgeon, etc.). So when we finally got in the room it felt like a party. At first. With the epidural in full force I was feeling good, just sleepy. Mike looked cute in his scrubs. I was really thirsty and begging for ice chips, which they gave me sparingly because there was a good possibility I for a c-section. So from there, I started pushing.
*I'm not kidding when I say I actively pushed from around 10:30 p.m.-2:30 a.m. That's like pushing during the drive from Atascadero to L.A. The whole time people in my face chanting, 'Come on Meghan! Push like you have to poop! Push like you have to poop!' It was almost a little funny the first half hour, and then it more like you've got to be kidding, stop saying that. So I pushed. And pushed. And pushed. At one point a nurse suggested I let the epidural run out so that I could use the feel of the contractions to push. At that point I think my words to her were, 'whatever.' Um, if you ever find yourself in that position, kindly decline and keep the epidural. Remember how I said I had been tough at first? I was not tough anymore. Yes, you forget the pain of labor, but I still remember thinking that I wanted to pull the nurses hair for every suggesting that I go from feeling nothing but fatigue to full blown labor in minutes. OUCH.
*I pushed on my side. On my knees. On my other side. I pulled up on this silly bar thing. I just kept pushing. It was awful pain and they started the epidural back up. Come to find out, little Maxwell was stuck on my pelvic bone so they told us they were going to suction him out. As exhausted as I was, we were grateful that with all those extra people on call for us, no one was pressuring me to have a Cesarean. It was really time. We were about to hold our first baby.
*The suction/pushing was a blur, but finally came Maxwell Daniel, March 4, 2009 . When he came out the room went quiet. Mike was supposed to cut the cord but the doctor immediately cut it and laid him in front of the pediatrician. Maxwell was limp and he wasn't crying. I kept asking Mike, 'Why isn't he crying? Why isn't he crying?' Mike didn't look me in the eye but he said he was okay. Within a minute Maxwell was fine. He began to cry and his apgar when up. Apparently he was also tired from the four hour push. Poor little guy. Finally I got to hold him and all the cliches came true. Our miracle baby was here.
*Part of me was so tired I kind of forgot I had to do the whole thing over again. When the doctor told me he had to break my water for baby girl I started to correct him. 'Oh no, my water already broke.' If he had seen Niagara falls between my legs that morning he would have understood. But apparently only one of the sacs had broken. Unbelievable. I watched him take out this hook and was so tired I didn't even flinch. But when I saw Mike's face I assumed we would never have sex again. Twenty-one minutes after Maxwell was born, Ella Vita arrived. And she cried. We each held a baby and so it began. Our prayers answered. This incredible life with two.
There are more stories and I'm certain I have a selective memory, but waiting for Lily reminds of our wait. Then our birth story. Crystal, I can't wait to hear yours. You and Andy will do great! I love you~

Maxwell Daniel, 5 lbs. 10 oz.


Ella Vita, 4 lbs. 14 oz.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Beach Day For Mom

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. We shared it with her and my Dad at the beach. We brought the RV and Mike ran the BBQ...yummy!

Mom, I really do want to be like you when I grow up. Happy Birthday. We LOVE you so much.













Tuesday, January 5, 2010

'Exceeded your photo upload quota'

So, apparently my photos aren't posting because blogger now wants to charge me for more space storage. The error is reading, 'We're sorry, but you have exceeded your photo upload quota. For more information, take a look at this Blogger Help page.'

Google accounts link blogger with Picasa, etc., so I guess I'm out of room. Before I pay the money I wanted to see if this has happened to anyone else. If so, after you paid was everything back to normal? Thanks!