Boat Ride

We cannot get enough of this warm weather. We took the boat out yesterday afternoon and pretended it was summer. I LOVE spending time with my family outside.

Don't worry Grandmas, the babies did wear their life jackets. Just not posting those photos, as they were SCREAMING with them on.

Playing Summer

Spent yesterday at the beach. It was such a beautiful day. Max and Ella played with their new sand toys, even if the sand was replaced with HUGE ROCKS everywhere. Oh well. It felt so good to be in the sun.

What Germs?

I'm not over the top, out of control about germs...but they do gross me out. I don't mind my kids getting dirty, I just don't like them getting germy. When they crawl outside they get covered in dirt and it's a constant battle to keep rocks out of their mouths. Part of me hates that it ruins their outfit for the day and I'm highly disgusted when I find the occasional worm in Ella's mouth. But, I really want to be the Mom that let's her kids explore and PLAY. I remember being in elementary school and fishing for tad poles with my friend Bethany. Her house backed up to a water basin and we would literally scoop up huge tad poles and arrange them in a fish tank. We'd then sell them on the side of the road. Apparently lemonade didn't appeal to us. I remember people driving by us and the disappointment I felt when they didn't stop. It didn't occur to me that there wasn't much one could actually do with a big wet tad pole once it was purchased. Anyway, nowhere in this memory did either of our Moms care that we came home filthy. I want that for Maxwell and Ella.

But, it's the germy stuff that gets me. I know there's a balance between keeping kids healthy and acting neurotic. So today when we went to the grocery store I went for it. Ella is sick. Again. Poor baby still has a fever and just isn't acting herself. I had to run in for a quick trip and it's a pain pushing the stroller in front and pulling a cart behind me. Sometimes I run over my own heals and I have to act like I didn't, because it's kind of embarrassing. (Actually, it's really embarrassing). Anyhow, today we did the cart with the toy car in front. And it was the cutest thing ever. Even Ella was laughing. I had to brace myself because there is no amount of Purrell wipes that can kill the germs crawling on the steering wheels. But they loved it. And it made me not care. They thought it was this great game and I shopped with one cart. I didn't even bring in the Baby Bjorn as a plan B for whichever baby is crying (which is good, because they now kill my back in it).

So we scrubbed their hands when we got home. And it was fun. And they are fine. As they always are.

The Happenings

Hookers for Jesus

While we were flipping through channels last night, Mike and I saw a chaplin speaking to a young woman in jail. She was encouraging her to leave her life of prostitution. She spoke kind words...I was paying half attention...and then said she knew a group that could help her. Hookers for Jesus. Um, are you laughing as hard as I was last night?

Turns out they're a legit organization working against modern day sex slavery. I googled them and read the founders bio. Turns out, she has an amazing heart and story. I'm not being sarcastic when I say this is an awesome cause. In fact, the more I read, the more my heart broke. This woman has an incredible testimony. This organization reaches out to girls/teens/women who are victims of human sex trafficing, violence, and the pornographic sex industry. Amen for the the incredible ministry they are doing.

But I'm not going to to lie, the name kills me.

Your First Birthday

Maxwell and Ella,
What a special first birthday you had! We had a super fun time celebrating with lots of friends and the Becks at pizza. We missed Grandma Judie but we will sing to you again when she gets home. You put your fingers in your cake and I got all teary eyed...because you're SO BIG. On Saturday Nonni and Papa John threw you a special party at their house. We ate yummy food and you had your first meatballs! Your big sissy Maegann also let you have your very first drink from Blenders. Maxwell, you were hooked. I'm certain Uncle David can hook you up with a job when you're ready. Friends and family came to visit with you and you were very good. You got a little sleepy but Papa John walked you around and you took a good little snooze. Best of all...your great Grandmother Vita came to spend your special day with you! She even brought you your very first tunnel and tent. You think this is the coolest present ever. It was such a great day. Your Dad and I loved celebrating with you. Right now you are both tucked in your cribs sleeping. I'm tired too so I'm about to crawl into bed. I just wanted to look at the pictures from our great weekend. Because you already look bigger. I can't believe you are one. You big boy and big girl.

More birthday pics here

Happy First Birthday Maxwell and Ella

A year ago I became a Mom. And everyday I fall more and more in love. Happy birthday you beautiful babies. You make our family so very happy.

Our Blended Family

On Saturday Mike and I went wine tasting to celebrate Michael and Maegann's Aunt Julie's birthday. Julie is Jennifer's sister. She's Mike's ex sister-in-law. And she's our friend. We feel really lucky that we all get along so well. The babies played at home with my Mom...thanks Mom!

(When I say Mike and I went wine tasting, I actually mean that we all tasted and Mike drove everyone around in our RV. I'm sure after the third winery we weren't being annoying AT ALL..thanks Mike)

Jennifer (Michael and Meg's Mom), Michael, Me and Justin

the birthday girl Julie is in the green wig and white shirt

Loving Them Love Each Other

It has been over a month since we've all been sick. We just keep passing it back and forth. Once I think we are well, someone starts feeling bad again. Last weekend Ella started running a fever, this week she got up to 106 degrees. Poor baby has an ear infection but she's on the mend, dreaming of smiles and motorcyle rides. Maxwell has been amazing, patiently sharing my attention and playing on his own. He is such a good natured boy.

We ran to Target today and when I stopped the car and turned around in my seat, this is what I saw. Sister not feeling great and brother holding her hand.
Totally teared up and remembered that having twins is the best thing ever. It's been hard this month taking care of sick babies. Dividing my attention and feeling a wee bit overwhelmed with arms constantly clinging to me isn't the glamourous picture I usually post. But it's real life. Having two babies isn't just 'cute.' It's also double the diapers, food on the floor, crying, etc. But when I see the two of them together, loving each other, it really is as great as I make it sound. Actually, better. I love them loving each other.

Wild Things

Maxwell and Ella got these awesome motorcycles from Nana and Papa for Christmas. With a little help, Max has been able to ride around the driveway. Ella took a dive off hers so she hasn't been too keen on it. Until I got out of the shower this morning and found Mike and the kids doing this...

Mommy Guilt

I had heard about mommy guilt before I had kids, but I didn't get it. It literally starts at conception. At first its' Oh no I haven't gained enough weight!' Then it's 'Oh shit I've gained too much weight!' Always questioning, always harboring this...great responsibility. I think the babies are too cold, I need to bundle them up at night. Wait! Their room is baking, they are too hot. I need to be careful about introducing new foods to them. But that Mom over there is feeding her baby Chinese takeout and he looks so happy! Ohmygosh I am depriving mine! Every phase it's something.

I have girlfriends who decided for various reasons to stop breastfeeding earlier than they planned on. Talk about the mother load of mommy guilt. So many emotions and circumstances are attached to this personal decision. And yet everyone thinks it's their business to ask about it. I remember dreading nursing at the beginning. With two babies I literally felt like my boobs were out all the time as I was feeding all day and all night long. I didn't like it. And that made me feel guilty. I kept telling myself 'One more week. I'll see if i can do it for one more week.' Weeks turned into months and I finally mastered feeding two at once. For me, nursing became quick and easy. So easy in fact, that at eleven months I still nurse the babies in the morning and at night. And guess what? I feel guilty about that! Now I'm embarrassed to admit that my babies who look so big still nurse. Why do we do this to ourselves as Moms?

I guess it's caring too much about what others think. As far as questioning myself about whether or not I'm doing it perfectly, I've just resolved to accept that I'm not. I guess that's part of parenting. Sure I'm bound to feel bad when I get something wrong, but I know that my heart is right. And the thing about kids...they'll be just fine.

(Ella finally has enough hair for a bow to dangle from. Until she or her brother pulls it out.)

Valentine Love

Feeling Yucky...And Still Into Everything

Whatever sickness I had finally passed on to Maxwell and Ella. They have colds and their little lungs are wheezy. But as you can see, it has not slowed them down much. I think we are all just tired of being housebound.

Trying to start the DVD player

Pulling down all the clothes in their closet. I don't know how I didn't see that coming.

Peekaboo!

Maxwell telling Ella all about cows

Bath time! I could tell they were feeling yucky this morning so I finally gave in and let them take a bath together. I don't usually like to do this because they get crazy and usually go face down. For me, it's kind of scary with two in the water. BUT I think they get it now. They almost had as much fun waiting for the water to fill up as they did during their actual bath time.

They are too much fun.

11 Months

You peekaboo playing, motorcycle riding, play chase with me babies...how we love you. One more month, say it ain't so.

Hi From the Crib

Remember the days when your Mom told you that you had to stay in bed and sleep if you stayed home from school? If I only would have realized how amazing that sleep really was...
I haven't been feeling great but so far the babies seem to be OK :)