Challenges For Myself This Mother's Day

With Mother's Day around the corner I've been thinking a lot about how I hope my kids see me. And lately, I've fallen short of being that Mom. Honestly, the older they've gotten the harder it is for me to stay patient when they misbehave (lots of talking back and whining). Today I'm praying for a patient heart. I'll never forget something I once read that said, 'People don't remember what you say, they remember how you make them feel.' I want my kids to feel safety and love when they think 'Mom'. I've been doing a lot of disciplining them, which is being a parent, but I want to correct them kinder, gracefully.

My heart is for Maxwell and Ella...
To hear a calm voice, even when I'm frustrated or angry.
To see more of my smile instead of my frown.
To find security in our routines, so they know what to expect no matter what mood I'm in.
To feel safe and giddy when I run to give their Daddy a kiss when he gets home from work.

When they think about our days,
I want them to think about dance parties in the kitchen.
More of me playing with them.
Adventures outside.
Laughter on car rides.
Counting, spelling, imagining.

I want to model treating people with kindness.
With my words and actions.
I want to be quick to forgive and quick to ask for forgiveness, including asking for theirs when I'm wrong.
I want them to see honest.

I want them to dream big.
I want to nurture their strengths and give them the gift of confidence.
I want them to feel heard.
Even if I don't agree with them, I want their voices to feel important, because they are.

Most of all, I want them to understand that I treasure the privilege of being their Mom. I know they won't remember all that we did these first years of their lives, but I want them to feel the foundation of love that we've built together.

I'll always fall short but I refuse to lower my mark. For today, it's starting simple. With an intentional choice of how I control my voice. To speak, not yell. To chose calm over chaos.

Good Weekend, Bad Pictures

We took a last minute weekend getaway to Santa Barbara. We had a college graduation, family visit, and mother's day. It was a good time, minus the toddler meltdowns (x 2). I almost cried a few times. But there were lots of laughs too. My camera barely made it out of it's case, but here are a few shots.

Happy graduation Bradley! No picture for this, but we are so, so proud of you. You've done an incredible job staying focused and you've accomplished so much. Above all, you are just a good guy. You have the best heart and you treat people well. It was two years ago that you stayed the summer with us. Now you're all grown up, educated and graduated. Well done.

We brought our beach cruisers and trailer and rode from our hotel to the harbor and on the pier. Nice picture of Mike's back. Imagine two wide eyed kiddos in the trailer.

 

 

I took this right when we checked in. The kids were so excited to find their backpacks from home that I put on their pillows. (Side note: Despite being surrounded by pillows, they both fell out of the bed in the middle of the night. More than once. Honestly, more than twice. That is why they are the only 26 month old kids still in cribs at home).

 

Awkward mother's day photo. They look delighted to have their picture taken.

 

When we got home I got the Mother's Day gift I asked Mike for...an hour and a half nap. SO NICE! But before I went to sleep, one of my big kids surprised me. I came home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a super sweet card, and these concert tickets!!!

 

We often laugh at our family because, really, it's pretty funny that I'm 30 and my step kids are 20 and 24 (If you don't know us, our family Christmas card can look a bit confusing). But being a part of their lives is incredible. Blended families aren't always easy, but it is an amazing gift. I feel loved and appreciated by Michael and Maegann. The fact that little Maeg wants to hang out with me at this concert at the fair is awesome. It's a privilege to be a part of this family.
And to my mother and mother in law~You have each blessed me so much this past year. The endless love you both show Maxwell and Ella fills my cup over and over when I'm feeling tired. You each spoil me in your own ways and I appreciate every word of encouragement and extra time you go our of your way to help us. Happy Mother's Day Mom. Happy Mother's Day Judie. I LOVE you both.

Mothers

To my mother and to my mother-in-law...thank you. I love you both. You have made this year easier for me, as you've helped me so I could help my babies. I am blessed by both of you in different ways. Thank you for taking care of me and my family. Happy Mother's Day.