Remember here when I said they were sleeping better at night? Psh.The red numbers on the alarm clock glow in the dark, mocking me as the hours drag on. Maxwell has woken up yet again and I wonder for the millionth time, 'Am I doing this wrong?' I have a pile of books by the side of my bed, all tell me something different.
*Cry it out. The patterns you are establishing now are the key to happy babies and happy parents. They are now old enough to learn when bed time is and it is OK to let them cry if all their needs are met. But for how long? I let them cry and they didn't stop. It just got worse. And they're so little. And I'm so tired.
-OR
*Attachment parenting. Your baby is crying because they need to be comforted. By responding to their cries, they are getting the message that they are safe and they can trust you. But at what point do they learn to comfort themselves? And there's two of them! How can I possibly respond to their cries when there's two? When Mike's home from work we do it together but for the love of god...I'm tired.
*You need a routine. The baby who feeds on a schedule gets fuller feedings and establishes a healthy routine. If the baby feeds on demand, you end up with a fussy baby who wants to snack all day and night. During the day your baby should feed/wake/sleep. This sounds great! I need a routine with two! But wait, I just fed one and now the other is falling asleep. OK, now I'm feeding at the same time. But Ella needs to be burped so let me put Max down for a minute- wait-you! Don't fall asleep yet. You're supposed to feed/wake/sleep. And what happens when Maxwell wakes up from a nap and is hungry but Ella's still sleeping? Do I wake her too? But she cried for awhile and they didn't fall asleep at the same time. I think she still needs to nap. But now we're off of our schedule. Ahhh...
-OR
*Breastfeed instinctually. Babies will let you know when they need to be fed. They'll also let you know when they just need to be comforted. Women around the world have instinctually breastfed their babies for generations without a schedule. Put the clock away. Use your intuition. If baby needs to be comforted, snuggle up and show him you love him. Ahhh. This makes so much sense. Why wouldn't I want to show my babies love and security? They stop crying every time I give them the breast. I'm happy. They're happy.
But, hold on. Wait a minute. I am trying this and now Maxwell wants to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG. IN BED WITH ME. (I'm afraid to type that because I think the Baby Wise doctor is going to do a TV special on indulgent mothers like me. I said I would never sleep with them). Now he seems happy, but wait! What about me? I'm a human pacifier. The kid literally won't stop crying until my nipple is in his mouth. And can you blame him? NO. You can blame me. Because I tried to use my 'womanly intuition that mother nature gave me.'
Now it's one...two...three o'clock in the morning and Ella is finally asleep again. I tiptoe back to bed and as my head hits the pillow I hear the cry. No. Not Ella. It's Max. Of course it is. He's hungry and it's his turn to eat. But when he's done, he starts smiling. He doesn't want to go to sleep. After all, he just slept from one-three. He had himself some rest time and now he's all smiles. Time to start over. Burp/Clean diaper/Rock/Walk...but wait, he doesn't like that, Ella does. Max likes this better...the red numbers laugh at me again...four o'clock....
Maybe this is ridiculous. Maybe I'm just a new mom and I need to realize that babies don't need a routine yet? Maybe they are just itty bitty and this is the deal. But Baby Wise says...
And even if I do pick one way or the other- Baby Wise vs. La Leche- it seems like the babies respond differently. Ella does well when it's nap time and I put her in her crib awake. Generally she will fall asleep on her own. I can do the exact same routine, consistently for a week, and Max still hates to be put down without nursing first. So what's a mom to do? The obvious answer is to do what works best for each child. But there's two. And it's hard. And did I mention I'm tired? Again I ask myself, 'Am I doing this wrong?'
What has worked for other moms? At thirteen weeks, what were your babies doing?
*The past week has been rough, but I realize that it's not that bad. For every time they cry, I forget about it when they smile (they laugh now too!). And if I was really THAT tired, would I take the time to blog? I'm just learning how to be a mom.
Remember here when I said they were sleeping better at night? Psh.
Lady Ella's Poker Face
Maxwell's Poker Face
Maxwell ~ Ella
*Most of the pictures for the wedding slide show courtesy of Uncle Steve...our brilliant family photographer
Sophomore prom
Junior prom
Nana swooning over Ella
Studly-I mean Mike, fixing cracks in the wall
Maxwell and Ella snoozing in Nana and Papas backyard while we enjoyed the view
Hangin' with Dad
APU Buddies
Chris, Steve, and Scotty
Zachary and Sarah
On a happier note, Maxwell and Ella got to spend the last couple days getting loved on by their great grandmother Vita...pictures to come soon...
